These cards are from a pack of Circle Work tools. I pulled these ones specifically after the #March4Justice on Monday. Finding shared values supported me to anchor myself when my husband and I found ourselves arguing disrespectfully, yet we both wanted to feel more respect. We found new ground and a bit more patience with each other when we realised we wanted the same thing.
Starting with values means taking a deep breath and focusing on where we agree first, to see the ground we share...which begins the work of dismantling the “enemy images” where we dehumanise the other person and make them wrong so we get to be safe and right. When honest sharing happens around values...we can see something familiar in the other, their humanness.
Social wellbeing flourishes when we start with values, families and teams flourish. Shared values inspire patience so we can find new narratives that don't get us stuck in binary wrong and right. Shared values can make way for renewed experiences of safety together.
If we look for the humanity underneath the 'tragic' behaviour we might begin to make sense of what seems so senseless, which can spark even just a glimmer of willingness to collaborate on the bigger stuff that really needs our attention together.